Things that I should do:
- Turn off my electronics
- Get some water
- Change into pajamas
- Go to sleep
Reasons why I’m not doing all of that:
- It requires moving
- INTERNET
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Reasons why I’m not doing all of that:
(via thebritishteapot)
Dear stomach, stop feeling icky. I have work today. I cannot be sick.

If he actually tweets back, I might just die.
I wish we said “fancy” in America. As in, “I fancy you.” It’s such a more agreeable term than “I have a crush on you.” What’s a crush? Like, I AM A BOA CONSTRICTOR AND I AM GOING TO IMMOBILIZE YOU WITH MY MISPLACED AND OBSESSIVE AFFECTION. “I fancy you” is like, you’re so shiny and glittery and I just want to put you on a shelf and look at you for a while ‘cause you’re fancy.
(Source: aimmyarrowshigh, via genderneutron)
Laci Green in “Men & Femininity.” (x)
(via moraniarty)
That’s because it’s too busy terrifying children for it’s master, David Bowie.
(Source: thegraveandthee, via causbelli)
She’s currently under orders of bedrest for the rest of the week for her severe back pain.
This guy is so damn lucky that I’m not in his immediate vicinity.
Bastard.
I hate it when my grandfather’s brother comes to visit. He’s creepy and gross.
I’m actually doing this….. XD
(Source: iwantcupcakes, via fuckyeahrdj)